Therapy for Self-Esteem
You may be here because you keep asking yourself the same question: am I actually good enough? From the outside you probably function well but inside there's a harsh voice that’s exhausting to carry around.
Therapy for low self-esteem looks at where that voice came from and why it still has so much power. It isn't about learning to think more positively or repeating affirmations you don't believe. It's about healing from experiences that taught you your worth was conditional and working out what it would take to feel steadier in yourself now.
If you often put yourself down or let others walk all over you, you are in the right place.
I work with adults who are tired of living life alongside this “not good enough” story.
Every single day. Often without anyone knowing.
How low self-esteem can show up in everyday life
On the outside, it may look as though everything is fine. You are reliable, capable, a high-achiever or the one others turn to.
Privately, you may be experiencing a near-constant inner critic, one that picks apart what you said in a meeting or replays a conversation from last week. You might notice:
A negative way of thinking about yourself or a sense that you're fundamentally lacking in some way
Comparing yourself to others, feeling inferior or like an impostor
Overthinking every interaction and every mistake
Finding it difficult to relax and feeling like you constantly have to be doing something “useful“
Struggling to stand up for yourself, even when something matters to you
Difficulty setting boundaries and a tendency to please others
Fear of being judged or worrying about saying the wrong thing
For some people, these patterns may show up in specific areas of life. For others, they can affect several areas:
Romantic relationships, where you give more than you receive.
Family dynamics, where your needs quietly come last.
Work, where no achievement ever feels like enough.
Friendships, where you are afraid you are not fitting in and others will reject you.
Parenting, where you're harder on yourself than you'd ever be on anyone else.
Decision-making, where you doubt yourself or feel guilty no matter the choice you make.
Mental health, where you may be experiencing increasing anxiety and low mood when something triggers you.
How low self-esteem may be affecting you
Low self-esteem can have many causes and can show up in many different ways.
If you feel like one or more areas of your life are affected by low self-esteem or lack of confidence, therapy can help you work through whatever is holding you back and develop a healthier relationship with yourself.
What's the difference between low self-esteem and just lacking confidence?
Confidence tends to be situational. For example, you may feel confident at work but not in relationships or as a parent. There may be a specific challenge that you faced which knocked out your confidence. If this is the case, it may still be useful to access therapy to help you bounce back and tackle the issue before it affects other areas of your life.
Low self-esteem tends to run deeper and often shows up across different areas of life rather than just one. People may experience an inner voice that constantly criticises them and deeply held beliefs that they are not good enough or that there is something fundamentally wrong with them.
What causes low self-esteem?
There is no single cause and people may experience low self-esteem and a harsh, self-critical inner voice for a range of reasons. Low self-esteem often stems from childhood; from a parenting style that made love feel conditional, an early experience of being bullied or overlooked, from being raised by parent who could never be pleased, or from frequently being compared to siblings and other children. However, there can sometimes be a later trigger, such as a breakup, a job loss, a rejection, a toxic relationship, burn-out, or a comment that landed somewhere tender and never quite left.
How can therapy for low self-esteem help?
Therapy for low self-esteem can offer a place to understand where these patterns of negative self-talk took root and how they affecting you now. Many people start from simply knowing something feels off without being able to say why. Within therapy, you will be supported to gently explore important life experiences in childhood and adulthood that may have affected the way you feel about yourself. You may also wish to learn skills, such as how to communicate your needs more effectively, become more assertive, set boundaries and be kinder towards yourself.
If there are underlying issues (such as perfectionism, relational or social trauma, relationship or attachment difficulties) we may need to work through those too. For some people, low self-esteem may be accompanied by a mental health difficulty (such as social anxiety, depression or another type of concern) that may need to be addressed over the course of therapy. Deeply held beliefs about ourselves can develop in different ways and be hard to shift. Ultimately, the goal is to help you be more accepting of your authentic self and live a more fulfilling life, which may look different for each person.
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